A. Documentary Evidence
Like most people, judges like to see things as well as hear.  Television is more popular than radio for entertainment.  Most people would like to see the game as well as hear the play by play.  For this reason, it is important to show the court your case. Hopefully, your witnesses have created verbal pictures for the court.  But the court cannot see the child as you do.  Bring in things that can illustrate your testimony. Parents glow when they show pictures of their children.  Things the children have made, pictures, report cards, Christmas gifts, favorite toys, the list is endless. The pictures show things that were done together, even if the other party was there, too. These items are things most parent will have or have access to. Evidence must be relevant (NCGS 8C-1 Rules 401. 402). However, in custody matters the court has wide latitude to consider evidence to support the best interest of the child standard.

If the issue is whether a parent has been allowed to communicate with a child, bring in copies of cards, letters, faxes sent, e-mails sent and/or received, both from parents and children.  Keep a calendar or diary showing entries regarding visitation or custody or concerns with the children.

In order for a tape recording to be legally obtained in North Carolina, at least one of the parties to the call must know that the tape is being made. It is not necessary to have “beep” or to inform the other party.  The tape must be authenticated. There is not the same expectation of privacy for messages left on answering machines. Tape recordings can be used to show hang ups, bad language, frequency of calls, threats, or inappropriate behavior.

If one parent is a drinker save every liquor bottle or beer can for a month. The pile can be quite persuasive. Buy new clothes to return the child in and keep the ratty too small clothes for trial.

B. Take Care
There are many things you and your attorney can do to present your case in court.  However, beware. Your child will have two parents forever.  Some things can never be unsaid.  If you want to hurt the other parent, rather than help the child, you should change your position. Allegations are easy to make, hard to prove. But the taint of false allegations can color a case.  Certain personality traits make a person appear helpless, the other party an ogre, the child a victim. All allegations should be fleshed out with facts and the names of persons who can support the facts.  Check out your facts.

While it may be possible to have your child's psychologist testify, or his best friend say that he told him something negative about the other parent in confidence, consider the probative value of such testimony and whether it outweighs the possible prejudice to the child.

C. The Child
Unless circumstances force an attorney to do so, it is never a good idea to put the child on the stand.  First of all, children are ego-centric. Regardless of what a child is told, he or she often believes that the judge will make a decision based solely on what the child has to say.  This can put a child in a Sophie's Choice situation (for those of you who never read the book by William Styron, Sophie was in a concentration camp and was told she could save one of her two children and she had to pick which one. Sophie chose and then went mad.  What do you think would happen to a child?) Hopefully a child loves both parents, and should.  Sometimes a mature child will ask to go to court. Even then, it is best to discourage the child unless it is necessary for the judge to hear from the child. A judge can speak to a child in chambers only if both attorneys agree. A child can take the stand.  Some counties make liberal use of guardians ad litem in child custody matters.